You're Joking right
by LadyXxXErin
Summary: Bella is Teasing Vampire Edward, trying to get him to take that next stage in there relationship - after one to many rejections a game is played hoping to turn there bodys off. Will it or will it cause them both to be pushed to the age and go that step to far - read and see -Contains lemons,language and jokes - you need a sense of humour to read this one. EPOV Read and Review


Disclaimer : I don't own Twilight , Nope not even Edward Cullen –sobs- I do how ever currently own a Edward Cullen Action Figure yay me!

Some of these jokes may cause offence.

A/n- This is a quick and short, I mean short one shot, I was bored and I wanted to do something so decided to write this it's not been beta'd. – but I have gone through it so I'm hoping there isn't a lot of typo's-

Also this is the first story I have done with Edward Cullen a Vampire I prefer the human Edward but ill give it a shot]

This Story is from an Old account of mine, I've tweaked it slightly hope you all enjoy.

**Summary : Bella is tempting Edward and Edward being the gentleman he is , even for a vampire , decide they should play a game to stop them from doing something he doesn't want to regret so they play the joke game who can say the best jokes only towards the end Bella gets a little to kinky with the jokes and Edward has to decide whether he is willing to give in to her or reject her yet again.**

* * *

**You're Joking Right**

**Edward point of view.**

I was sat looking out the window thinking of how hard it was to stay in doors today, Bella was here at my house and no one else was home – we was alone , just us.

She was tempting me , in ways a human should never tempt a vampire, she already had my heart even though it had stopped beating she already had my love , I would give her my soul if I believed it was still with me but she wanted more she wanted my body to.

My body, which I couldn't give her, it wasn't the fact I didn't want to I couldn't for different reason's.

One being her blood called me to, like a song it rang out a tune to me like the pied piper played his flute to all the children, and two being she was tempting me more now than she usual did.

She Lay facing me with her hair all over the place with a my shirt on - open , showing her skin peeking out at me and some small –very short- short's, that I'm sure my evil sister had bought her from Anne summer's – they was lace, and white so pure - pure just like My Bella.

She had stayed the night it the bed, the four poster bed I brought for her in my room, all night she was talking moaning my name over , and over again in her sleep.

I was sat in the chair near the window were I had been watching her sleep for the last two hours after I felt my control slipping in the middle of night I removed her arms from around me and moved from the bed sitting in the chair, so I was close enough for her to feel the sparks she says she feels when I'm in the room.

And now, now she was awake and she knew what she was doing to me.

Sat there with a smug grin on her face biting her lip knowing what that one movement did to me I had to look out the window, I couldn't look at her I even held my breathe due to the aroma coming from her body.

I didn't need to breathe I did it simply because it was more comfortable but I couldn't sit here and smell the scent coming form her I couldn't smell her, want her, need her and not do anything about it.

It was driving me wild and it wasn't fair of her to do so.

I wont lie to you I have thought about it all myself yes Bella is very alluring her body calls to me in ways I didn't know beauty could. I had feeling's in my body that I had never felt before.

I've been walking this world for over a hundred years and never felt anything close to the feeling my body get's when Bella is near me.

I have thought's what make me feel dirty after I have had them, but when she is near me my mind wonders , I wants to feel her close to me I wants to feel her hands on me and I want to feel my hands on her.

A noise across the room caught me out of my mind's thinking.

I looked up and breathed out at the site in front of me.

Bella was sat up curling her hair around her finger the shirt –yeah that's right my shirt- only had three of the buttons done up.

Showing me her toned stomach and the bottom off her red lace bra I mentally groaned. If I wasn't already dead, I'd say she was trying to kill me.

Before I could think she had jumped up from the bed and run to sit in my lap hugging me close, placing her head in the crook of my neck her scent hitting me strong.

Thank God Carlisle had sent me hunting yesterday!

"Bella please put some clothes on" I pleaded with her since her blood wasn't the only scent I could smell coming from her body.

She pouted at me, yes pouted.  
Her pink plump lip's puckering up together.

"Why don't you take a few items of clothing off" She whispered into my neck, the feeling of her breathe tickled my cold skin.

"Bella" I groaned out half in frustration, half turned on.

I could feel my body reacting to her and it wasn't what I wanted, yes I had fed but I could still easily loose control with her, it wasn't something I wanted to do !

I loved Bella I wanted her more than she will ever know it was hurting me causing me physical pain to have to deny her anything, but I had to do it because I couldn't hurt her like that and the fact there was even a slight chance I could if we went to far was the one thing stopping me from throwing her on the bed and what she was pleasing me to do.

She shifted causing me to grit my teeth I felt her lips turn in to a smile in my neck the little minx knew exactly what she was doing to me.

"Edward please I know you want to, I can tell" she shifted again on my lap "please I want to as well, I swear if anything happen's or if you think your going to loose control we will stop, just please let us try" she was pleading again and it was killing me to deny her it but I had to!

I shook my head no and looked to the floor so I didn't have to see the hurt in her eyes I felt her head move up wards as if she was staring at me I was about to apologies, when I felt her hand on my chest moving down towards my lap towards something that she should not –at this present time- be going near.

She wasn't playing fair and she knew it!

I had to do some thing, - some thing before it all got out of my control

Before she could blink I had lifted her and placed her in the chair and I was half way across the room.

She looked at me as if I had three heads and huffed crossing her arms across her chest, the move –her sulking- looked sexy to me and I was confused by that how could a simply move be such a turn on.

"Edward" she said in a tone that told me she was generally pissed off.

"Bella please don't make this any harder than it has to be" I sighed shaking my head defeated " OK - in four weeks I will change you – OK- against my better judgment. I am willing to change you because that is what you have asked of me but this" I said pointing from her to me "this is something I can't do, yes I want to, believe me I really do but Bella " I stopped trying to control my voice "Isabella I can't" my voice was straining if I could cry I knew I would have tears, the look she was giving me was cold , icy I decided I would rather be in another room than see her give me that look.

I walked at a human pace out of the room and walked down the stair to sit in the living room staring at the wall the television was on already from when my family left late last night to go on a weeks hunting trip.

I was sat there for a good hour before I herd movement from upstairs, I was worried but I also knew what that look meant and I didn't want another row , last time she had looked at me that way was when I told her she was to stay away from the dog!

She had closed her window that night and ignored my calls it was only three days later when Jacob had kissed her she came to my house crying begging for my forgiveness, forgiveness she already had been given.

I knew she cared For Jacob after everything he had been the one who took care of her. But his feeling's wasn't anything but pure. It took him kissing her for Bella to realise that.

She walked into the living room and the look on her face broke me, she had tear stains down her face and had on her sweat's clothing she had in the past told me comforted her.

Yeah that thought alone – her needing comfort made me feel like shit.

She also had on a long sleeved hooded jacket in black matching the black sweat's , I opened my arms out to her and she literally run into them crying in to my shoulder .

I stroked her hair and rocked her telling her over and over again how sorry I was and how much I never wanted to hurt her.

After about ten minutes she was sat in my lap her head on my chest and the tears had stopped but she was just staring at the television I decided it was time to break the silence.

"Bella we need to talk" I said, I felt her shift but kept her close to me, my arm's wrapping tighter around her.

"no, no you don't have to move its fine" I said and felt her relax back into me.

"look I know you felt rejected before and I'm so sorry about that I really am, but this – us - how we are now well I love it, I love you more than words can explain and I want you. You have to know how hard (pun intended) it is for me, even the most innocent things sometimes have me breathing heavy and you know how easy it is for me to not breath at all" I said I notice a small smile grace her lips.

"But … I can't … I wont risk hurting you by going to far there's limits and I don't feel safe going beyond them, I can't put you at risk Bella but I was thinking we'll talk about it more and discuss other options, I'm not saying yes to that but I'm saying well discuss other options later ok, but for now I want to just enjoy this, us is that alright with you" I felt her nod

I pulled her closer to me hugging her she pulled herself into me and I grasped into her embrace, seeing her upset because of me made me relies I was being a little selfish to she was asking me something that a girlfriend should be able to ask her boyfriend with out the fear of rejection hitting, and for that simple fact alone I decided I would give in a little not full on sex, no but I would allow a little bit of the control to slip.

She looked up and smiled at me the tear's gone "Want to here a joke Emmett told me yesterday" she said.

I nodded knowing what Emmett's kind of jokes were like.

"What is the difference between erotic and kinky ? " she said smiling a cheeky smile

"I don't know" I answered her to amuse her even though my mind was running with Emmett could of possible told her.

"Erotic is using a feather...kinky is using the whole chicken." She said trying not to giggle.

I shook my head – only Emmett.

"Bella that was really quite disturbing" I mean really a whole chicken!

She laughed and the sound alone made me smile.

"OK so you tell one now" she said with a daring smile.

I sighed while I thought about an appropriate one for her, I decided even though it wasn't a joke, it would do.

"Ok I have one for you" smiles before singing "Here I sit broken hearted tried to shit but only farted then one day I took a chance tried to fart but shit my pants" I said

She burst out laughing causing me to grin at her.

"Alright, alright I have one for you - two hookers on a street corner one says "I think it'll be a good night tonight ... I smell cock in the air , the other says "sorry i just burped" she said with a straight face

I mentally groaned at her. Whilst shaking my head before smirking. So she wanted to play dirty.

"Is the string on tampons really for crabs to jump on?" I said I seen her face go red

"Not funny at all Edward" she said glaring at me

I grinned "do better then"

"Billy and bungle went in the jungle to play in the long green grass Billy got silly and pulled out his willy and shoved it up bungles arse" she said with the look in her eyes that scared me a little.

I could smell her scent getting stronger Jesus Bella got turned on by dirty jokes.

I breathe out before thinking whether I was willing to go ahead with this slow torture.

"well got anything better" she smirked at me

That did it, she knew challenging me always go me going, I was so in this little game!

"Yes I do - two eggs bubbling in a pan female egg says to male , ' I have got a crack' male says 'shut up! I'm not even hard yet" I said smiling to the her.

She shifted in my arms looking up at me and I saw she was laughing, I shifted my self seeing her like that was doing odd things to my body and her own reaction was not helping me at all.

"alright, alright " she said in between giggles. "Teacher asks class for a ten letter word, Johnny says 'masturbation' 'oh' says teacher 'that a mouthful!' 'no' says Johnny 'your thinking of blowjob and that's seven letters"

I have to give it to her , some off these jokes she said made me smile and chuckle but the feel of her body shaking in laughter was what was pushing me on to continue this game.

Every time she twitched my body reacted.

"Hmmm alright here's one - swine flu has caused the first celebrity break up Kermit the frog has told miss piggy were to go!"

She smiled and looked thoughtful.

"This one is from Emmett to - boy was playing with himself in the bathtub when his father walked in and said, 'Son, if you don't stop doing that, you'll go blind.' The boy said, 'Dad, I'm over here." She said and looked at me for my reaction

I smiled to let her know I was listening. Licking my lip's I tilted my head before a joke came to me, I had herd some of the kid's chuckling in our English class over it at the time I had rolled my eyes, but now it seemed like a good time to repeat it.

"A horny husband helps his wife set a password on the PC they type MYPENIS his wife rolled around the floor laughing when it said SORRY NOT LONG ENOUGH" I said and she smirked at me.

"Hmmm alright then - a red head and a blonde pass a flower shop and the red head spots her boyfriend buying flower's, she says 'oh shit , he always has expectations after buying flowers. I don't feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air' the blonde says 'don't you have a vase?'" She said and burst out laughing causing me to shake my head at her.

Tapping my chin I nodded before smiling.

"A shrink was doing a therapy session with four young mums and there small children 'you all have obsessions' he obsessed . To the first mum he said 'your obsessed with food you even names your child candy' to the second he spoke 'your obsessed with alcohol hence you named your child brandy' at this point the fourth mum got up quietly and took her boy by the hand whispering ' come on dick were leaving " I smirked trailing off.

She giggled into my neck causing me to chuckle at the feeling of her breathe hitting me, suddenly she started placing wet kisses on my neck causing me to moan out her name , it was in pleasure and also in a warning she pulled away and smiled .

"OK my turn, The drug council has been looking for a generic name for viagra, and has now announced its settled with mycoxaflopping . Other contenders were : mycoxafailing , mydixarizin , mydixadud , dixafix and of course ibepokin"

I have to admit I laughed at that one but was cut off by her mouth on my neck again her scent was stronger , a lot stronger than this morning and my body was reacting to her mouth on me.

Traitor I thought while trying to think of something to say I was thinking of a suitable joke.

She shifted her self on me, so her leg was over mine and she was turned into me I knew she could feel my erection.

"Sex is like a maths test me plus you, subtract the clothes add the bed , divide the legs and mutually the orgasms " she whispered into my ear , before taking my earlobe in to her mouth and sucking on it causing throaty groans to leave me.

I should push her away

I should stop this now

I should be telling her no

But I did say we would go over the bounders a little.

I did say we would become more touchy, more feely. and admit I didn't want to stop her.

I don't know what caused me to say it, or why I did but as soon as I said the first line she stopped staring at me and straddled my lap.

"Suck the end very slow and watch the white begin to flow I can't resist to lick the rim before I thrust my tongue right in I flick and tease it with my tongue I love to like it all night long then I lick across my lips and lick off my fingertips ! Cadburys Creme egg how do you eat yours" she burst out laughing continuing to move her hips into mine.

I brought my head closer to her and grazed my nose along her jaw line. The smell of her shampoo and body wash overwhelmed my senses and she brought her arms around my neck.

Bella trailed kisses up my cheek to my ear lobe and tugged on it with her teeth "please" she whispered in my ear.

My answering moan was enough confirmation for her.

I couldn't think, her scent, the scent of her, her arousal was clouding my mind , damn this , and damn Alice for not warning me about this but, I sighed thinking, could I really reject her again after this morning .

No.

Was my answer.

No I couldn't.

I couldn't see that look in her eyes again, I couldn't see the tear stains on her cheeks again

I refused to - was my last thought before I decided to screw the bounder's I had made!.

I pushed her back on to the coach hovering above her using my arm's, placed next o here head to hold all my weight, I inhaled moaning out, she was driving wild .

"Bella" I breathed out

She shivered at the husky tone of my voice and nodded her head smiling up at me, I leaned towards her as she propped her self up on her elbows to meet me as my lips brushed against hers.

As she pulled away I placed my head on her shoulder allowing my self to calm a little.

my mind was having an internal argument with its self

_I want this._

_Its dangerous._

_She needs this._

_I could hurt her._

_You wont thought you couldn't you love her to much to._

_The blood._

_You're stronger than you think._

_But what if something goes wrong one moment is all it takes for me to loose control._

A warm hand came into contact with my cheek and a thumb stroked it, Calming me down my eyes -what I didn't know I had closed- opened to see Bella smiling up at me .

"I know your worried Edward, but know I love you so much" she said leaning up and placing a kiss on my check.

"I know you do as I love you" I said and she smiled again.

"The blood Bella" I said

Her reaction was strange instead of worried she blushed like she does when she is embarrassed.

"Well hmm they may not be any" she said stuttering a little.

"What do you mean" I asked confused "you said you was a " she cut me off huffing

"god Edward what do you take me for , I told you , your the first boy I've even kissed" she said and I could tell I had offended her and maybe even hurt her feelings.

I lent down kissing her on the cheek like she had to me only moments ago.

"I know I'm sorry love" I whispered against her cheek.

I was forgiven for she smiled at me

"But what did you mean" I said wording it right this time.

She blushed again and god help me if that blush didn't make me harder.

She grinned feeling the affect but then looked away shyly, causing me to become even more confused and, well slightly worried.

"Bella please" I asked my finger under her chin, worrying what the hell was going on.

"I well ..." 'hmmm' she said clearing her throat.

I waited quietly for her response.

"well you see , I was planning on this sort off and I well knew you ... Well I knew you would... Freak ... So well I ... umm ... I well I ... I experimented a little" she said and her cheeks went redder than I have ever seen them.

"experimented " I said asking as a question, even thought I had herd her perfectly, my voice must of shown the confusions as She huffed again before turning to glare at me.

"yes damn it I experimented with a freaking cucumber you happy now ... Last night when you went hunting ok I was scared you would use the whole blood thing so … I well … I tried to you now so there wouldn't be any" she said turning away I could see a tear roll down her eye.

I swear if my heart wasn't cold and non beating it would be tearing out my chest now.

"but why" I said a mix of emotions filling me, some I haven't ever felt before.

"For you, for me for us" she said.

I could tell she was embarrassed and I don't know why that was one of the most emotional, loving thing anyone had ever done for me Bella had caused her self pain to stop me from suffering .

She pushed at my arms as more tears rolled down her face I looked at her tipping my head waiting for her to speak

"Edward please just let me up, I can't take another rejection I know it was stupid I..."

Before she could finish I cut her off crashing my lips down on hers using a new force I had never used on her before I felt her moan in to the kiss her arms coming around my neck tugging on my hair.

A feeling had hit me as soon as she had mentioned what she had done, a feeling of jealousy.

Yes I Edward Cullen boy/vampire was jealous of a frigging Fruit.

The thought that it had been inside of Bella , inside of my girl .

The thought of her thinking of me turned me on causing me to let go and give in it the side of me that hungered for her.

My lips trailed down her her neck sucking on her pulse point she moaned and pulled on my hair for a human it would of hurt but it caused me more pleasure than she knew.

I could feel her blood rushing in her neck her heart beat was picking up , yet I didn't have any hunger towards her blood the hunger I was feeling was directed to a scent drifting up from between her legs .

Her hips came up hitting mine making our crotches move against each other causing a moan to escape my mouth I herd Bella faintly breathe my name .

"hmmmm" I said wondering if she was asking me something.

"Bedroom" she moaned out again

I lifted her up cradling her in my arms and used my vampire speed to run us up the stairs kicking my open door shut with my foot before slowing to a human place while placing Bella in the middle of her –while for the moment our- bed.

I was looking at her watching her bod , well her chest pumping up and down while she was breathing heavy

She was gazing at me and I could see her into her deep brown eyes.

On other occasions Isabella had told me how she thought her eyes to be dull.

They was anything but dull.

Her whole heart was in those chocolate brown eyes and she allowed me to see her need through them it was just as strongly as mine.

I lent over her placing gently kisses on her face while staring into her eyes I could smell her scent and it was strong , she must off been soaking as if hearing my thought Bella rubbed her legs together which caused a slight moan to leave her mouth.

My hand trailed slowly down her stomach playing special attention to below her belly button, were I knew she was ticklish.

She moaned out with a small giggle causing me to smile.

She watched my hand move opening her legs for me , I drifted my hand to her thighs running it down her legs, I moved my face from her neck were my kisses had lead me and sat up so I was sat facing her legs

"My god Bella you smell so good" I said thinking of her scent was causing my mind to go blank.

She groaned and licked her lips.

"Please Edward" she moaned closing her eyes.

"Please what Bella" I asked wanting her to tell me, almost needed her to tell me them words. I wanted her to demand for me to touch her, need me to touch her.

"Edward" she moaned out as my hand reached the top of her thigh.

"Tell me" I whispered as I traced the outside of the seem on her jeans.

"For fuck sake Edward I want your tongue inside me , I want your fingers to touch me and most of all I want that big hard fucking cock you have hidden in your pants to push in my tight little pussy" she screamed

Well holly hot damn! Horny Bella has a potty mouth and ill be damn if it didn't turn me on.

It wasn't the first time id herd her speak like that, but it was the first time she had said them kind of words in this situation.

"Fuck" was all I said as soon as the words left my mouth her scent reached a whole new level

I growled as I pulled her trousers off her, before she could move I had moved and tore her hoodie from her body.

I brought my self up ridding my self off my own clothes, then climbed on to the bed leaning into her legs her scent was stronger and I couldn't wait to take the little black boy shorts that was hiding the hidden dessert from me.

Bella leaned up and removed the Red lace bra she had holding it up in her hands , she was beautiful and I was determined to show her .

I slowly so not to scar he placed my thumbs inside of her panties and started so slowly pull them down.

I looked up at her and tried to see if she was scared but all I saw in her eyes was pure lust and her love for me.

As I pulled the panties from her legs I threw them into the dark as I turned back to her crotch.

Fuck me !

She was dripping and I mean literary , it was flowing from her lips and she had shaven fully bare.

"Shit Bella" was all could say

I seen her smile sexy vixen had planned it all!

I reached out a hand slowly towards her , my mind wasn't in control any more my body was.

My fingers gently glided along her lips coating in her clear juices before I brought my fingers back and licked them sucking it from them.

I moaned and looked straight into Bella's eyes as I did it , she was biting her fucking bottom lip that shit turned me on so much.

Fuck she got me with the potty mouth too.

"Fuck Bella my thought are so fucking dirty , I don't know what your doing to me!" I told her.

She grinned at me before again rubbing her legs together I gently prided them apart and lent in to her.

I quickly used my tongues and swept it across her soaked pussy lip's.

"mmmm fuck" she moaned out/

God did she taste sweet.

Without thinking I used my fingers to pry her lips apart and sucked I was still worried about my teeth coming into contact with her skin so I used my lips as a cover as I flicked my tongues between them drinking her all up.

She moaned out as my tongue dominated her I felt her hands grab on to my hair pushing me in closer to her.

I moved my tongues lower a little using my nose to rub on her clit

"Fuck Edward that feels so good baby" she said lifting her hips up to my face, my fingers brushed against her hole, teasing her as my tongue swept against her.

Suddenly I felt her body stiffen

"oh god ummmm fuck Eddie I'm… I'm" she screamed

As I felt more juices burst through her lip's. as she rocked her body against me, my tongue flat against her as my finger still slowly teased her , letting her ride out her orgasm.

I drank her all up before placing kisses on her clit carrying them on up her stomach till I reached her mouth.

As I was about to pull away she grabbed my head pulling her face to me and attacked my lips with her own.

As she finally pulled away to breathe she buried her face in to my neck.

"Fuck Edward that felt amazing , you talking dirty swearing turns me on so much baby" she said tracing my ear lobe with her mouth.

Just as I was about to reply her hand trailed down my ab's till she grasped my cock in her hand my body stiffened she must of felt it because she pulled her face from me and looking into my eyes.

"Please baby let me please you like you did me" she said begging me with her eyes

I was about to object when her tiny hand jerk on my cock causing a groan to leave my mouth involuntary.

"Bella" I said as she pushed me on to my back.

I could of stopped her with my vampire strength but I was too far gone.

"Relax baby please" she said as she trailed down my body she let go off my penis as she ran her finger around the rim of my boxer's , teasing me like I had her.

She slowly placed her thumb inside of them, pulling them down as soon as they was over my penis, it sprang free fuck did it feel good to be able to let it breathe.

"well fuck me " she breathed and I was worried I had scared her until I seen her grin.

"Ar'nt you a big boy Eddie baby" she said pulling the boxers around my ankle and throwing them.

I noticed her breast bouncer a little as she moved and made a silent promise to pay them some attention during the night.

She reached out and I lent on my elbows so I could watch her, her small hand hesitantly reached out and I felt her run a finger fro, the base to the tip of my cock.

Pre cum was swimming around the tip she pressed her finger into it and brought it to her mouth doing as I did to her sucking it as her finger left her mouth with a pop she grinned before she dipped her head and took my head in between her lips.

I groaned out as I grabbed a hold of the bed sheets.

_fuck thank god for this bed._

I thought as I felt her tongue swirl around my tip as her lips moved down taking me in to her mouth, as much as she could her teeth grazed me causing my hips to lift off the bed.

I watched as her head bobbed up and down on my cock her tongue was doing thing's I thought was made up.

Her had come down towards the bottom of my cock and was in rhythm with her head she suddenly lifted her head up and grinned at me wickedly her hand still stroking me but now doing full strokes to the tip and back down.

Suddenly she dipped her head back and took my ball in her mouth sucking on it before moving to the next doing the same

"Fucking shit Bella" I said as I felt my stomach tightening "what the hell are you doing to me baby girl" I whimpered out , feeling my cock harden.

"hmm baby" she said

she moved her hands to my balls and her mouth back to my cock she pushed down faster than before more aggressively suddenly she bit the tip of me and before I could warn her my cum squirted into her mouth.

I thought she would pull away revolted but she surprised me by swallowing every last drop then sucking me as if wanting more .

When she finally let go she smiled up at me shyly.

"hmm was that ok" she asked shyly

I could off laughed but instead I grabbed her and pulled her sitting her on my chest as I sat pulled her down to me.

"That was fucking fantastic " I said as I made good on my promise pulling her nipple into my mouth.

She moaned as I sucked on her nipple god she was getting more turned on I felt her leak on to my stomach.

She moved above me pushing her self on into my mouth again I used my teeth as a cover my tongue and top lip trapping her hard erect nipple as I sucked hard.

"Fuck" she moaned as her little hand grabbed my hair instead of pulling she gently stroked.

I sucked on her nipple for a few minutes before I moved to the next one.

After I had giving it the same treatment I moved and took one breast in my hand gently massaging it before doing the same with the other one.

They fascinated me, the way her body responded to me touching a part of her amazed me.

Bella placed her hands on my chest and I looked down to see her eyes hooded with lust, she was dripping on to my chest and I let her guide her self she lifted up and layed down beside me.

I rolled over placing my hand on the pillow next to her head and position us, so my weight wasn't on her.

"Are you really ready baby" I asked as I felt my tip graze her entrance.

She nodded and moved her hips to meet mine causing me to moan at the contact she had made, my tip brushed her clit.

I moved so I was in front of me so my weight would be on her but so we could both move freely and I placed my cock at her entrance using my hand to tease her for a minute she was dripping against I pulled my hand back and pushed in a little as I entered her I stopped suddenly as three things happened at once.

God it was fucking hard not being able to read her mind.

_Bella froze and a tear rolled down her face_

_My mind was suddenly able to out rule my body_

_And I smelt some thing_

Some thing strong that hit the back of my throat and for a moment made me feel like I needed to feed

Some thing sweet.

Some thing that was calling to me.

"Shit blood" I said out loud, whilst knowing I should of said it to my self.

"I'm so sorry Edward" she said as another tear fell from her eye.

"Don't be baby why are you sorry" I asked concerned.

"but I thought I had ... Last night " she said

I pulled out of her and lent down resting my forehead against hers.

The scent hit me stronger now but even though it was calling to me seeing Bella upset was making me not think about it, how could I, when my girl look so distraught

"Look at me baby" I asked

Her eyes immediately turned to meet mine.

"You have nothing to say sorry for" I said making sure she looked into my eyes as I said it.

"but" she said

"No buts" I said cutting her off

"Is it hard for you" she asked me and I could see the genuine pain she was feeling.

"I wont lie, yes its taunting me a little but I want this Bella god I want you and ill be damn if we don't do this , I'm glad you didn't break yourself last night I want to be the one , I'm given myself to you fully and to know you are to makes me love you even more" I said smiling down , the words I was speaking to her was nothing but the truth.

She lent up and kissed me I smiled into the kiss she pulled away whisper into my lips.

"Edward my pussy wants your cock"

Fuck dirty demanding Bella was back god I love this women.

"What your pussy wants your pussy gets my cock is here to oblige" I said grinning at her.

She moaned "Fuck Edward you talking dirty turns me on so much"

Before I could reply she lifted her hips and her pussy grazed my cock before I could think my tip was in between her separated pussy lips again.

She pulled her hands to my shoulder as if she was afraid id pull out , I slowly pushed into her till I was all the way in she finally relaxed , but I kept still not wanting to hurt her

"Please Edward "she begged causing me to pull out before pushing back in.

I placed small kisses on her neck going up to her jaw she responded with each kiss, she brought her legs up wrapping them around my waist linking her ankles together , as I pulled out and pushed back in again my head rested on her shoulder, as she started rocking her hips to mine she lifted her tied ankles further up my back taking me in as far as I could go I picked up speed as I felt her climax coming closer to the edge of the cliff.

after three more thrust she dug her nails in my back before screaming "holy fucking shit …. Ugh …. babe it feel so fuck…. good , god I love you being inside of me , fucking me like this , god I love making …. Ugh …. Love to you ….. Edward ... Fuck …. Edward … mmmm ….. just … oh yeah … like that" she said as I pushed in to her harder than before, my thrusting becoming quicker.

One more thrust and she was screaming my name as I cursed out as my own climax hit me like a ton of bricks.

"god I fucking love knowing my cum is mixing with yours" she said moaning out as her body still rocked against mine.

She lay panting causing me to moan, even more so at her words.

"fuck Bella don't say shit like " I said as I tried to control my breathing, I was panting, I didn't even need to breath yet it felt like it had been knocked right out of me.

I pulled out before I rolled over on to my back pulling her with me as we both tried to get our breaths back

After a few moments I looked to Bella grinning

"hmm Edward" she said and my shy Bella was back

"Yes love" I replied causing her to smile

_Dirty Eddie and horny Bella was the bedroom couple._

Now we was us Isabella and Edward.

"Was that well was ok" she asked and I seen the blush rush to her face.

"You're joking right" I asked

She shook her head no causing me to frown.

I pulled her to me kissing her almost roughly licking her lips she opened hers and allowed my tongues to search her mouth.

She moaned in to the kiss I grinned as I pulled away.

"Does that answer your question" I asked her

She grinned letting me know it did.

"But do you want to hear a joke" she said laughing.

"Look were telling jokes got us" I said looking around grinning.

She curled into me "it got me here naked with you" she said her smile matching mine.

I chuckled at her "it sure did"

I felt her laugh "so want to hear another one" she said shyly again

"Maybe in the morning or tomorrow night but for now you need your sleep" I said

She pouted till I kissed her lips quickly again.

She looked at me as I layed down pulling her with me under the covers.

"Sleep my love I will be here tomorrow morning" I said as I turned to face her and kissed her forehead.

"Ok but I'm thinking off some jokes for tomorrow mister" she said before closing her eyes

Her breathing evened out letting me know she was sleeping.

Ten minutes into her sleep Bella started moaning my name softly.

I smiled as I recalled the night.

"Yes and I will be all to willing to listen to them "I said into the darkness before humming a melody that I had in my mind.

* * *

**Reviews make Eddie tell Naughty Joke's.**

A-n / Please remember this is all a bit of fun. The build up for them was there way of turning each other on. I didn't intend for any one to find – (or found) this story to be in any way insulting or degrading.

Again Thank you to those who read this. Let me know your favourite part (and jokes!)

**Lady Erin xx**


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